I recently celebrated my 43rd birthday. In reflecting back on the past year, I was surprised to see the number of changes I have gone through. I left a career that I loved and was passionate about, and people who had become my second family, and became a stay-at-home mom. I learned how to bring in income and budget in different ways so that could happen. I saw the start of fulfilling my dream to write by starting a blog, and then helped grow that into our vodcast and podcast. I have finally answered the call to be in active ministry, even though it doesn’t look like I ever thought it would.
Many of those changes brought with them both challenges and blessings. Leaving my career in human services was terrifying, and something I never thought I would do. I loved helping people and seeing them gain new skills and tools to overcome challenges. However, not working a traditional full-time job allowed me the time to write, and I was reminded that I do have a way with words that can offer support and tools to people to help them overcome life’s difficulties. I was also able to learn new digital marketing and website design skills that are leading to new opportunities.
Knowing I wouldn’t be seeing that second family every day was equally as scary, if not more so. They had become a wall of support around me through some incredibly difficult years, and the thought of potentially losing that broke my heart. My relationship with that second family has changed, and I will fully admit that some of those changes have been painful. However, it has also created space for the deepening of some friendships and helped me to see areas in myself that I need to work on. I also came to realize that true friendships don’t require being together every day in order to thrive, and the people that want to be in my life make it work despite hectic schedules.
All of that lead to the starting of our vodcast (and podcast), which has been one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences of my life. Live Life in the Spirit has allowed me to answer the call of The Great Commission in such a tangible way for the first time in my life, and I am both better and grateful for it. And I get to do all of it with Penny, who has become my best friend, sister, co-warrior in Christ, business partner, there aren’t enough or the right words to fully encompass all that she has become (and she would tell you that coming from me, that’s really saying something, as I like words ha ha). What a gift!
I would be remiss if I didn’t touch on how all of these changes have impacted me as a mom, and my relationship with my sons. Previously, I was working 40-50 hours per week and often having to work from home nights and weekends. My job, though wonderful, often left me with little emotional energy to offer them when they needed it. Juggling doctor’s appointments, haircuts, school activities, etc. was difficult and I missed out on quite a lot.
When everything changed earlier this year, I was forced to make some changes that I didn’t realize we all needed. All of a sudden, we had a whole lot of time together. Admittedly, for all of us, there were challenges. The circumstances that led to these changes were unexpected and out of our hands, and we were left reeling for a time. But through this we have grown so much closer, the ways in which they know they can count on me have grown exponentially, and I have been there through it all.
In the midst of all of those changes, I got to travel to Israel and Jordan, to immerse myself in the places and people of God. And I met the most amazing group of people that continue to be such a blessing in my life. I was given the gift of healing and have had the opportunity to see God work in amazing ways in people’s lives.
Even before everything began to change, God was preparing me. He told me that life would be changing, and that my work in particular would be changing. I was nervous, but also a little excited. I kept getting the message that this would be a season of trusting God in new ways, which at times added more to the nervous than the excited. I can say without a doubt this has definitely been a time of trusting in God in new ways. If this time in my life had a banner phrase, it would be to trust and obey.
All of the amazing blessings that came in this time in my life came because God provided the way. I could not have survived this last year without Him, let alone had times to truly thrive and shine. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have a single moment of doubt, for there were many moments over the course of the last year when I looked at what needed to be done and thought “There is no way.” The beauty of those moments, though, was that in knowing I couldn’t do it on my own, I had to rely on God. So when doubt crept in, I would acknowledge the fact that I could not do what needed to be done on my own, but also that I serve a big God and as long as I was following Him, he would provide a way. And He has.
There has been heartache and tears and fear, and general wondering of how in the world I would make it through. But there has also been peace and joy and so much love and laughter. I have had the opportunity to show up in my faith in ways I never have before, and I can tell you I am better for it. And God has shown up for me in ways that I never could have imagined. I know that with Him, I can do hard things.
So if you are in a season where you feel like you are drowning, reach out for the hand of the one who saves us. Reach out for the hand of the one who climbs in the boat with us and reminds us that we are safe with Him in the storm.
Shalom,
Kristen
