Searching for the Spirit

I have been searching for something for quite some time that I just could not find. I have sought it from Bible studies and women’s fellowships, church services and people. I have seen glimpses of it here and there, been given tastes of it, but until recently it has remained just out of reach. Even if I had wanted to, I could not have told you what I was searching for. I just knew what it wasn’t, and that I would know when I found it. I know now that what I was searching for was…more.

Like many of you, I grew up in the church. I grew up hearing the Old Testament stories of Adam and Eve and the Garden of Eden, Noah and the flood, Jonah and the whale. I grew up singing Jesus Loves Me, The B-I-B-L-E, and This Little Light of Mine. I knew that Christmas wasn’t about Santa, and Easter had nothing to do with a bunny. I knew that Jesus was God’s son, that God loved the world so much he sent Jesus, and that Jesus died for my sins. I asked Jesus to be in my heart, I prayed every night before bed, and went to church most Sundays. I tried to be good most days, and I watched my parents doing the same thing, and that was enough.

As I entered into middle school, and high school in particular, I started to ask more questions. I decided to be baptized and chose to dedicate my life to Christ. I continued to learn more about the people in the Bible and added in the creation story (at that point I didn’t realize there was more than one), Cain and Abel, The Tower of Babel, some of the Psalms and Proverbs, the Beatitudes, and more of the story of Jesus birth, life, death, and resurrection. I continued to make nightly prayer a part of my routine, still went to church most Sundays, and began attending youth group weekly. My parents were more and more involved with the church, and I began doing more there as well. Volunteering to help with different projects, or serve food, or participate in programs.

It was when I went to college that I think my search really began. I was no longer at home and had the decision as to whether to go to church every Sunday or not. I enjoyed church, so began searching for a church home in my college town. I went to many different churches, but just couldn’t find what I needed. For the longest time, as I moved about to different places and went to different churches, I always thought what was missing was the feeling I got from the people in my church back home. I know now that wasn’t it either.

The answer, I have learned, comes from these verses in 1 Corinthians and Hebrews.

1 Corinthians 3:1-3 says 1And so, brothers and sisters, I could not speak to you as spiritual people, but rather as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ. 2I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for solid food. Even now you are still not ready, 3for you are still of the flesh. For as long as there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not of the flesh, and behaving according to human inclinations?

Hebrews 5:11-14 says 11About this we have much to say that is hard to explain, since you have become dull in understanding. 12For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic elements of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food; 13for everyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is unskilled in the word of righteousness. 14But solid food is for the mature, for those whose faculties have been trained by practice to distinguish good from evil.

You see, I had an amazing foundation to my faith growing up. I had started on milk and worked my way up through baby food to cut up adult food. Occasionally I would get a bigger piece of food that I really had to chew on, and I loved it and was hungry for more. I was shocked that I couldn’t find it in so many of the places I thought I would. What I discovered was that, often unbeknownst to them, people had become accustomed to milk. They had gotten used to not having to chew, or hardly even swallow, and when they were given more, they choked.

By the grace of God, I also discovered that there are others like me, seeking more, and there are those teaching of the depth and breadth of God. So, if you too have found yourself feeling like something is missing, or like me, you are craving or hungering for more, know that you have found one place that is willing to offer you more. Come back for a healthy dose of truth, a light for your path, and a safe space to ask the tough questions. If you are seeking answers, we encourage you to leave a comment, or if you prefer send a message through our Contact page, and we will get back to you. Are you ready to dig in?